its going good. me and pj that is.
but i cant fight the feeling that something's missing.
like good conversations? those come rare. our inability to hold good long conversations. it's dissappointing.
sure i miss him at times, but dos that constitute love or is it just a physical dependence on the great feeling of being LOVED by somebody?
aksjdkjkgjk i need more.

I've been transitioning for about half a year now.
Things are... different.
New

Boyfriend.
Weight.
Confidence.s
Stress.

Lost

Friends.
Motivation.
Self-Control.

Appealin, this college life is.

But my weekend was pretty good. Went to So-Cal and visited the coolest people in the world that I met in Japan. Funny cuz they're like family practically, :]
Good Food, Funny Clubbing, and Cool People.
Then hung out with my girls Callie and Shanda. Gosh. I missed them. :]
<3 So cal and weather.. dude. and now I'm back in the rainy weather of good ol' berkeley about to pull and all-nighter with an essay that I was suppose to bullshit weeks ago.
wish me luck.
<3

So here's the sitch.
The jackass borrows my ipod about 3 months back in class.
I forget about it and ask for it 2 periods later.
Him: "What? you dont have it? I left it for you on the desk next to you."
Me: "OMG WHAT?! no!"
So I go back to the class asking everyone if they've seen it.
People ask me how exactly do I lose such an expensive item. I tell them the above.
I feel bad and believe someone else must have picked it up though I recall leaving the classroom before Jason and not seeing an ipod.
After the weekend I come back to a friend going: "Spring! You know Jason tried to sell a white ipod nano to my friend?"
Me: "No.. wtf. It might not be mine?..."
Everyone around: "Spring it is obviously yours."
Me: "We must not jump to conclusions."

Days later Jason confronts me.
Him: "People's been saying I stole your ipod..."
Me: "What do you want me to think when right after I lose my ipod you're trying to sell an ipod?"
Him: "No... where did you hear that from?"
Me: "I have my sources. So did you try to sell my ipod nano?"
Him: "No I didn't try to sell ANYTHING."
Me: "Why would anyone make it up that you were trying to sell them an ipod?"
Him: "Iunno... they cant prove that."
Me: "Why would someone lie?"
Him: "It wasn't a nano..."
Me: "Ok... so you were trying to sell an ipod MINI?"
Him: "yeah..."
Me: "Ok whatever but either way YOU were responsible to get the ipod directly to me so you are not responsible to replacing my ipod."
Him: "ok.. but lets just keep this between you and me."
Me: "Fine, if you replace it then its done."

And then I go directly to the source that he was trying to sell the ipod to and she confirms that it WAS a white ipod nano, exactly like mine and that he sold it to Miguel Ponce for $120. And his switching story further confirms this suspicion. BITCHASS.

So for about 2 months I am telling him to bring the money or his own ipod because I need an ipod. He pushes it like Lam and everyone said he would.

-Played out excuses:

*You need to remind me, call me.
*My house has no reception.
*My brother borrowed it.
*I just got a 300 dollar ticket for running a stop sign. (Can we say karma?)
*I brought it yesterday but you weren't here. (bitch, from what I heard you werent in class either!)

So I IM his bitchass tonight and he tries to offer me a Sony Cybershot. "Maybe you can sell it or something."
Sorry, but I'm not like you. I dont like to hustle stolen items. and besides, i have a digital camera. I need an ipod. and then he gets hella fake and then blocks me.
haha. actin like I wont know. lookin hella DUMB.
So I tell my friend to IM him and go "Spring wants her ipod tomorrow."
Lookin like a lil chicken he IMs me and tries to go postal on me.
and here goes the convo:

Co0chieMonstr: alright spring im tired of all your little messengers alright
P 1nk n BLO ND3: :]
P 1nk n BLO ND3: im tired of u always "forgetting" your ipod.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: just makin sure u remember tomorrow.
Co0chieMonstr: well fuck. i have shit to do. im goin through so much fuckin shit right now you dont even know. i just fuckin got in a car accident on saturday on the way to prom and im goin through so much shit with my family. this is all bullshit ever since the first day. it was even more bullshit when you changed the story at first you said i sold it for 80 and then later on you said i sold it for 120 i dont know who told you all that shit its fuckin bullshit
P 1nk n BLO ND3: I changed my story?
P 1nk n BLO ND3: you're the one who changed your story.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: "I didn't try to sell an ipod."
P 1nk n BLO ND3: "I didnt try to sell an ipod nano, it was a mini."
P 1nk n BLO ND3: blah blah blah.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: it seems you're the one bullshitting here?
Co0chieMonstr: well do you see anyone with your ipod around
P 1nk n BLO ND3: why would a complete stranger tell me lies about you trying to sell an ipod to them?
P 1nk n BLO ND3: I see hella people with ipod nanos.
Co0chieMonstr: exactly
P 1nk n BLO ND3: i know who you sold it to too.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: well even if you "didn't take my nano and sell it to Miguel Ponce"
P 1nk n BLO ND3: it was still your responsibility
P 1nk n BLO ND3: to give it to ME.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: and not the DESK next to me.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: after i let YOU borrow it during class.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: so save your bitching and excuses.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: and dont push things on me.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: and i dont care if you got into a car crash.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: i think its karma.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: do you believe in karma?
Co0chieMonstr: well i left class before you did how is it my fault u didnt take it
P 1nk n BLO ND3: uhm.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: bull
P 1nk n BLO ND3: shit.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: i left class before you did.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: I remember that shit clear.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: I saw you and dom
P 1nk n BLO ND3: still getting up
P 1nk n BLO ND3: when I left class.
Co0chieMonstr: and after i talked to you about it you said you were gonna keep that shit between me and you
P 1nk n BLO ND3: yes
P 1nk n BLO ND3: I stopped saying shit
P 1nk n BLO ND3: after that
Co0chieMonstr: hella people were talkin about it
Co0chieMonstr: omg
P 1nk n BLO ND3: but before it I was asking if anyone saw it
Co0chieMonstr: do you know how many people came up to me still
P 1nk n BLO ND3: because I believed you.
Co0chieMonstr: even mohammed told me people were talkin about me
P 1nk n BLO ND3: thats because THEY didnt believe you.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: after you said you left it on the table for me
P 1nk n BLO ND3: I went back looking for it
P 1nk n BLO ND3: and asked everyone if they saw an ipod on the desk
P 1nk n BLO ND3: and when they asked how i was dumb enough to lose my ipod
P 1nk n BLO ND3: i said i let you borrow it and that you left it on the table and I didnt see it
P 1nk n BLO ND3: and I believed that too.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: and i didnt even believe others when they were like "psh jason prolly stole it."
P 1nk n BLO ND3: I was like "nah he wouldnt"
P 1nk n BLO ND3: and then guess what?
P 1nk n BLO ND3: the next week
P 1nk n BLO ND3: my friend comes up to me like
P 1nk n BLO ND3: "hey you know jason tried to sell your ipod to my friend."
P 1nk n BLO ND3: uhm why the hell
P 1nk n BLO ND3: would a complete stranger
Co0chieMonstr: and youre just gonna believe her
P 1nk n BLO ND3: bullshit this?
Co0chieMonstr: i know who it is
Co0chieMonstr: fuckin janae
Co0chieMonstr: or however you spell it
Co0chieMonstr: do you know how many ipods there are
P 1nk n BLO ND3: haha so you know cuz u know u tried to sell it to her friend?
Co0chieMonstr: and how many people at school sell them
Co0chieMonstr: i know because someone told me
Co0chieMonstr: its not like i dont have friends either
P 1nk n BLO ND3: why you then?
P 1nk n BLO ND3: why were YOU selling an ipod then?
Co0chieMonstr: i already told you
P 1nk n BLO ND3: it confirmed it to me when I asked u later if you were trying to sell an ipod/.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: and u DENIED it.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: u DENIED trying to sell ANY ipod.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: see if you would have admitted to selling another ipod I would have been like "ok maybe jason was trying to sell another ipod to her friend."
P 1nk n BLO ND3: but you denied it. but why would her friend lie about you selling an ipod?
P 1nk n BLO ND3: therefore you are guilty as hell for trying to sell my damn ipod.
Co0chieMonstr: well maybe i denied it because i knew all of this would happen
P 1nk n BLO ND3: so dont even come bitching to me.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: or maybe you were guilty.
Co0chieMonstr: i already knew you wouldnt believe me i already knew people would start talkin shit
P 1nk n BLO ND3: thats on you for trying to sell an ipod.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: a WHITE nano at that.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: what are the chances?
P 1nk n BLO ND3: you should have known better.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: and even if you didnt try to sell MY ipod.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: you were still the one who should have given my ipod back to me.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: so therefore you lost it.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: and now you have to replace it for me.,
Co0chieMonstr: yeah i know that but fuckin im tired of everyone at that fuckin school comin up to me and tellin me that bullshit
Co0chieMonstr: i told you what happend you know we all have things to take care of
Co0chieMonstr: esp. senior year
P 1nk n BLO ND3: well im just telling you they put 2 and 2 together and I didnt say shit when I lost it.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: I just explained to them how i lost it.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: and after I talked to you and you agreeed to replacing it I stopped saying anything to anyone.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: and right now shit would be over already if you would just replace the damn thing.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: how hard is it to bring your ipod to school?
P 1nk n BLO ND3: seriously.
Co0chieMonstr: because my brother uses it too
P 1nk n BLO ND3: well then I have an idea.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: sell a pair of you hundred dollar jordans.
Co0chieMonstr: what?
P 1nk n BLO ND3: and buy him his own damn ipod.
Co0chieMonstr: lol.
Co0chieMonstr: sorry to break the seriousness but that was pretty funny
P 1nk n BLO ND3: uhm sure.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: but its a great idea.
Co0chieMonstr: man spring. im really sorry that this had to happen. im sorry things are like this between us i really am
Co0chieMonstr: things are just hard for me right now
Co0chieMonstr: i dont work and stuff and i have to pay for hella things
P 1nk n BLO ND3: another great idea just popped in my head.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: job.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: im sorry too but i want an ipod.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: right
P 1nk n BLO ND3: now.
Co0chieMonstr: what if i get u like a shuffle
P 1nk n BLO ND3: er. no.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: not gunna cut it.
Co0chieMonstr: man
P 1nk n BLO ND3: sell some of your stuff.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: you have a lot.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: just bring yours.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: tell ur brother to go find himself another ipod.
Co0chieMonstr: i cant do that to my brother.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: psh. you act like its a sin.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: well u know what a real sin is?
P 1nk n BLO ND3: "borrowing" my ipod and not returning it.
Co0chieMonstr: sorry got d/c.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: P 1nk n BLO ND3: psh. you act like its a sin.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: well u know what a real sin is?
P 1nk n BLO ND3: "borrowing" my ipod and not returning it.
Co0chieMonstr: a sin
P 1nk n BLO ND3: well bottom line is
P 1nk n BLO ND3: i have no time
P 1nk n BLO ND3: or patience to sit here
P 1nk n BLO ND3: and talk moral
P 1nk n BLO ND3: or argue w/ you.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: and so
P 1nk n BLO ND3: either you bring it tomorrow.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: or im coming to your house for it.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: its whatchulike.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: as gary would put it
Co0chieMonstr: now you got people to find out where i live too
Co0chieMonstr: bottom line i cant give u my ipod because my brother uses it too. u say i should sell shit to get money i agree. i have to pay off other shit first. but if you keep tellin people to to come up to me call me im me whatever or if you do any bull shit then i dont know what to tell you anymore
P 1nk n BLO ND3: i gave you what.. 2 months already?
P 1nk n BLO ND3: my friends were right.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: you are going to push this until we graduate.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: and then its whatever.
Co0chieMonstr: once again. your friends
Co0chieMonstr: i dont care
Co0chieMonstr: this is between me and you
P 1nk n BLO ND3: no actually.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: its all on you.
Co0chieMonstr: your friends are the reason why this happend
P 1nk n BLO ND3: uhm. not really.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: dont even.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: the girl you tried to sell it to told me you tried to sell it to her.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: and she wasn't even my friend at the time.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: i didn't know who the hell she was.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: and she still busted your ass out.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: so please nigga, stfu.
Co0chieMonstr: wtf first u fuckin say i deserve my car accident now u tellin me to stfu how u gonna say some shit like that and expect me to do somethin for u
Co0chieMonstr: you got me fucked up
Co0chieMonstr: just stop it im not gonna talk to you anymore im done
P 1nk n BLO ND3: do something for me??
Co0chieMonstr: im done
P 1nk n BLO ND3: this aint called doing something for me.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: this is called fixing what you did TO me.
Co0chieMonstr is away at 9:48:42 PM.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: you look like a liar and a cheater and a stealer. the end.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Auto response from Co0chieMonstr: you got me fucked up. what the fuck do i look like.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

P 1nk n BLO ND3: oh yeah one more thing jason.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Auto response from Co0chieMonstr: you got me fucked up. what the fuck do i look like.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

P 1nk n BLO ND3: you shouldn't be letting your brother listen to your bay area raps.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: hes only 7 or 8.
Co0chieMonstr: thanks youre gonna make a great parent some day
Co0chieMonstr: and thanks for telling another one of your friends to talk to me
P 1nk n BLO ND3: no problem.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Auto response from Co0chieMonstr: you got me fucked up. what the fuck do i look like.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Co0chieMonstr: d
P 1nk n BLO ND3: expect them.
P 1nk n BLO ND3: you'll meet new friends this way.
Co0chieMonstr: yeah okay



and this convo makes him more guilty too.
First of all, how would he know Janae was the one who told me if he didn't try to sell it to HER friend? exactly asshole.
Second of all, uhm his little 7 year old brother needs the ipod full of bay area rap? yeah. bite me bitch.
And he says he's sorry right? yeah. sorry he got caught.
I swear. UGH. dont jump him. hes ugly already, we dont need no one else fucking up his face.
just mean mug for me. and remember the lesson learned today.
"Dont ever let Jason Duong touch your stuff. He will steal it, sell it, and put it towards his jordans and grill fund. Oh and we cannot forget to pay off them speeding tickets."
Spring <3s you and hates bad liars. if you lie, at least dont get caught.

I<3 the asian drama meteor garden now.
im addicted.
<3
and i <3 my prom dress.
even thought 394732479 people have it.
and I <3 poptarts.
I got a poptart holder as everyone would know by now.
and I <3 marathons.
and free food and people and running and getting tan.
YAYYAYAYAYAYAY.
ok yes.
im done.
this was a random entry by spring.
<3utoo.

I was depressed.
Now i'm bored.
but too lazy to do anything about it.
my break is going to suck monkeys.
my job was going to do the apprentice competition thing on friday where we split into teams and try to coerce people into coming in for free smoothies.
i was going to cheat and make all my friends come.
now i cant because I just found out that im going to berkeley for the sleepover thing.
:[
i dont know if i want to go.
but i am.
cuz they already purchased my amtrak ticket.
another weekend away from home.
I thought thats all I ever wanted.

a dog chased me the other day.
so I raced him.
and won.

I'm emo.
Freaking life sucks. I'm all alone. Dora was going to be my roomie @ Berkeley but nooooo. guess not. now I am stuck with the abnormally smart and liberal potheads. ugh. I think I'd fit in better in UCLA. but no... i'd miss all my davis friends. Party in davis!!

But anyways. Today I presented my senior project. It went well and my heels didn't hurt. Jenny has the pictures. Let's hope she comes online because this is so not a spring blog yet.

Fucking ***** still haven't replaced the ipod he stole from me. asshole.

And I resolve to get fit&stuff by prom so I am going to start a jogging regiment every morning.. 5 am. impressed? I am. If i stick with it. :D How does gary do it? Alex bet me anything that I cant stick with it. supportive friend he is.

So about prom... Hannah is my date to prom. Going in a group with Lam&Ryan&Danny and planning to get a hotel&stuff. yay for future drunkenmemories.

oh and as for work I plan to quit robeks if Belair decides to hire me. I mean, its not a hard choice, $6.95 or $8.10? yeah.

So school sucked again.
Senioritis.
Though I stayed after for 6th period ap english anddd played 13 and Bullshit with Lam, Acme, and Danny.
Ahah I kicked everybody's ass in Bullshit. I think i broke a record.
anyways after school went to Ryan's house with Jenny and got ready to go to community service team building @ CSU.
good sandwiches, chips, cookies. damn they feed us too well.
and did some catching up with May&Leslie&Jessica and met a few more Kennedy peeps.
Jaime, Abigail, and Natalie. I swear I haven't had this much laughing since Chemistry study group last year.
And then afterwards went to Downtown Plaza with Jenny&Ryan.
But had a good convo with Jessica in the car. haha she rammed her pinto into a pole one day and now its likeee crying. AHAH. funnystuff.
and then the scary part came.

I got dropped off right outside of dt plaza. and the i had to walk past the bus stop and it was like 7:30 pm.
hella dark right?
this mexican dude at the bus stop starts following and hollering.
"hey whats ur name?"
"are you asian?"
"what you cant talk to me?"

and i didn't wanna get shot or jumped right?
so i was like.
"Spring.."
"sorry my mom said i cant talk to strangers.."
:] yes. and then he backed off.
DAMN RIGHT FOO. FEAR THE CONTROLLING ASIAN MOTHER.

and then bought Ryan some blackslacks and some 70 dollar heels. there goes a month of my paycheck. damnyouuuseniorprojectttttscrewyouuu.
then talked to tmobile guys and found out that their 1 year plan ends april. 3 days.
so fuck.
somebody 18 wanna help me get a phone?! please.
please.
please.
please.
please.
kthanks.

all week ive had unnecessary stress.
this asshole stole my ipod. and sold it to some guy. ohgreat.
this whole situation has brought me closer to some friends. Now I know who can be there for me when I really need them.

school was easy.
english is easier than a 2nd grade class now that our teacher went on pregnancy leave.
and got free msg rice from Long and free ensalada(??) from Crystal.

so today i went to work.
got off.
went to L&L with Benry. I swear I'm addicted.
went to Juice it up to visit Virley.
then went backk to Robeks to rip off the company.
yay. :]

and I need a car but my moms trying to convince me to buy a civic.
:/
fuck no.
kbye.

So today me, Sam, and Jenny went to the American Lung Association to present our Senior Project for them, an air quality assessment for Natomas High. I seriously sounded like a babbling idiot. -_-.
blah.
shooooottt meee.
but lunch was good.
GIANT catered burrito, chips, and taquitos. and I ate it all. ok. well 1/15 of it. but hey it was like 1 pound. Couldn't bend over afterwards. Then Me, Elissa, and Jenny went to the mall. OMG OMG OMG!!!!. It was interesting...

African American Lady: "Here, have a flyer. You guys should come visit our church. It is really good. I'm serious..."
Us: *staring at her because she wont shut up*
Her: "Wait.. do any of you speak english?"
Me: *shocked* "what.. do we look fob or something??"
Her: "Well, good come to our church..."
Us: "Err thanks." *walks away*
Me: "Wow, that was offensive, dont see us askin her about Africa."

and it got weirder.
The three of us was standing outside the HardRock waiting to get picked up and it was cold so we had our arms linked and huddling.
Then some ghetto people starts screaming.
"Bitch! blah blah blah blah blah."
*shoeless ghetto woman in a tiny tanktop is running around trying to run from this big black guy who's being held back by another ghetto woman with their friends going "oooohhh".. She keeps taunting him.*
Me: "Damn... picture some asians doing this. Oh wait, they're too sneaky and underhanded."
Us: *continues watching them*
Shoeless ghetto lady: *falls down, grabs her baby and stroller and tries to leave but insults the other ghetto girl.* DRAMA DRAMA.
Us: "ohh it's about to be a girlfight!" but it doesnt happen.
Me: "Haha. Asians are so nosy too."

5 minutes later.
*Ghetto guy (see above) approaches us.*
Him: Nee HOW MAH.
Me thinking: *damn are we really that FOB looking?!* "Hi!"
Him: How are you ladies doing? *shakes our hands*
Me thinking: *there aren't any diseases retractable by hands are there....?*
Us: Good...
Him: What ethnicity are you ladies? *looks at Elissa* You dont look Chinese. *looks at me* Now you're Chinese.
Me: *amazed* How did you know?!
him: Because you look it! *looks at Elissa* What are you?... Mien?
Me&Elissa: No.
Laos?
No.
Hmong?
No.
Filipino?
WTF.
Ok what are you?
Japanese.
Him: Ohhhhhh I can tell. you have the eyes. *looks at me* your eyes go that way and hers go a different way.
Us: HAHA. wtf.
Him: *looks at Jenny* Now what are you doing being the underdog here? You've gotta let loose. You have potential.
Me: Yea she's a freak under all that.
Him: Yeah just take off those glasses and you have a nice figure...
Me: haha forsure forsure.
Elissa: YOW!
Him: *looks at me* now she knows how its done. look at them shades.
Me: oh yeaah thaanks.
Him: Now nice meeting you ladies.
Us: yeah you too. byeee.

5 seconds later...
*a bum approaches us*
Bum: "you girls are really pretty.. like you're ready to take a picture." because we we're standing with our arms linked.
Us: Oh thanks!
Me Thinking: *wtf is this?!?!?. You're on CandidAsian Camera!!*
Him: "Yeah you girls stay safe now."
Us: "uhhh.. yess..."

suddenly *a white guy with headphones on appears out of nowhere*
White guy: "You girls are really pretty. So you should really be careful of those jerks who dont respect you. *referring to the black guy above* All they want is something else so you girls be careful now."
Us: yeah.. thankss.
*White guy walks off*


Bum: *worried looking* Is he talking about me?
Us: no..
Him: OH scared me for a second there!
Us: uh yeahh... not you.
Him: By the way can you guys spare some change? It would be greatly appreciated.
Us: *fishes out change for the nice flattering bum*
...
...
...


yes. this was quite random.
a black guy. a bum. and a white guy.
all in the same day. and a religious black lady.
hand me a bag of popcorn and put me in front of the hardrock anytime instead of a movie.